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- đ FBI, I Just Saw a Man Key a Tesla
đ FBI, I Just Saw a Man Key a Tesla
Plus: Norway's cheating scandal, astronauts return home, & Wisco boy calls cops on mom for eating his ice cream
As you continue to send your Daylight Saving responsesâŠ
We canât help but feel old for a second and think about how weird it is that the generation behind Gen Z (Gen Microplastics, maybe?) will never have to manually reset clocks for Daylight Savings. They will never have to suffer the blood, sweat, and tears that go into finding the "Date/Time" option in the system settings of a 2004 Honda Accord with âBad Dayâ by Daniel Powter playing in the background.
If you are from an older generation, we can hear you rolling your eyes from here.
đșđž Trump, Tesla, & Terrorism
đ©âđ Astronauts return home
đŠ Wisconsin boy calls cops on mom for eating his ice cream
âMax and Max
KEY STORY
Trump, Tesla, and Terrorism

President Trump warned he would designate vandalism and violent demonstrations at Tesla facilities as âdomestic terrorismâ
Since Elon Musk launched DOGE, protesters have destroyed and vandalized Tesla vehicles, charging stations, and showrooms
After saying on Monday that he would "buy a brand new Teslaâ to show support for Musk, Trump hosted a Tesla event at the White House
When asked whether he would label the anti-Tesla acts âdomestic terrorism,â Trump said, âI will do that, Iâll do it. Iâm going to stop them,â adding that he would do so for any âgreat American companyâ
Dig Deeper
Trump said, âLet me tell you, you do it to Tesla, and you do it to any company, weâre going to catch you and youâre going to go through hellâ
On Wednesday, House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) said he would instruct Congress to investigate âdomestic terrorismâ attacks against Tesla vehicles and storefronts
On X, Johnson added, âCongress will investigate the sources of these attacks and help the DOJ & FBI ensure those responsible are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the lawâ
KEY STORY
Norwayâs Cheating Scandal

Norwayâs ski team is facing cheating allegations ahead of the World Ski Championships
The Nordic World Ski Championships, the worldâs premier nordic skiing competition, is held every two years. Norway historically dominates the competition
On Tuesday, skiingâs international governing body accused Norwayâs ski jumping team of altering the pre-approved and microchipped suits to improve aerodynamics
In response, three Norwegian team officials and two athletes were suspended for âillegal equipment manipulation,â including two Olympic gold medalists
Dig Deeper
The cheating scandal has tarnished Norwayâs stance on honesty in sports, angering the Nordic countryâs population, which prides itself on dominance in winter sports
An FIS official stated, âNorway is a country that we all know as a leader in human rights, in equality, integration. I cannot believe that there is a (cheating) systemâ
QUOTE OF THE DAY
I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid
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KEY STORY
Astronauts Coming Home
The rescue mission intended to fetch the two astronauts stranded at the International Space Station (ISS) was delayed
American astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams have been stranded on the ISS since June 5, 2024. Their original mission was set to last only eight to ten days, but their stay was unexpectedly prolonged after thruster issues in Boeingâs Starliner capsule caused NASA to deem their return unsafe. The Starliner capsule returned uncrewed in September
A SpaceX rescue mission was scheduled to take off for the ISS on Wednesday night, arrive there on Thursday morning, and return with the stranded astronauts on March 16
Instead, a mechanical issue delayed the launch. It will now take place Friday night at the earliest
Dig Deeper
While this is a small hiccup for SpaceX, the entire situation signifies a major loss for the United Launch Alliance (ULA), a joint venture between Lockheed Martin and Boeing intended to compete with SpaceX, the leader
Instead of competing with SpaceX, Boeing failed to return the astronaut, forcing SpaceX to do so
An Air Force report determined that the ULA had âperformed unsatisfactorilyâ
KEY STORY
Department of Education Over?
The Trump Administration announced it would cut the Department of Education (ED) workforce in half
The ED is the smallest and third-youngest federal department, having been created under President Carter in 1980. It administer rules that govern federal education funding. Many conservatives have long sought to abolish it
On Wednesday, Trump took a step toward doing so by pushing out ~2,000 workers. While Trump canât just eliminate the department â that would require an act of Congress â he can gut it by firing staff, cutting funding, and giving its responsibilities to other departments
Dig Deeper
Supporters say the ED is necessary to maintain academic standards, channel funding, and implement anti-discrimination and other legislation. Critics say the ED is federal overreach that costs money and harms education outcomes
This week's cuts come days after a memo leaked that showed Trump is planning to dismantle the department
RUNDOWN
Some Quick Stories for the Office
đ Inflation slowed to 2.8% in February, below the 2.9% rate most economists predicted
đ° The House of Representatives passed a bill on Tuesday to fund federal agencies through September. Itâs path in the Senate is uncertain
đșđž After President Trumpâs 25% tariffs on steel and aluminum imports took effect on Wednesday, the EU and Canada retaliated with $28B and $20B in tariffs on US goods, respectively
đą The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) announced it would cut 1,029 jobs, roughly 10% of its workforce
đČ Federal spending hit a record $603B in February, driven by rising healthcare and social security costs
What does Roca Nation think?
đ§ Yesterdayâs Question: The US is $36T in debt (annual deficit is $840B!). Should reducing the debt be a bigger priority than it is? The number one priority?
Being fiscally responsible is neither easy or popular. Advocating for it doesnât get you votes. The reality is that at some point the economy and the country will collapse if there isnât someone who is willing to stand up and convince us to swallow the bitter pill of a balanced budget. Just think of all the programs that could be funded with the money that is being spent on the interest on the national dept. Oh wherefore art thou Ross Perot?
Yes it should be a prioritized more than it is now. However, blindly cutting jobs and funding like the current administration is trying to, is not the way to go about it. This needs to be a slower, more in depth process.
Oh, so the U.S. can rack up debt like a shopaholic with a black AmEx, never worry about paying it off, and just keep swiping? Cool, cool. Guess that means citizens can do the same, right? Insert world-record eyeroll here.
I do think cutting the national debt should be a priority, but politicians seem to have a talent for trimming everything except what they should. Maybeâjust maybeâthey could start with their own salaries, benefits, and those magical "expense accounts" before slashing things people actually need.
Hey, DOGE, fetch some wasteful spending in Congress and the upper government ranks first! đ¶đž
Is anything going to actually happen? Everyoneâs in debt â most major governments are in debt. We have so much leverage that our debt holders couldnât destroy us, and weâre already over $35T, why stop now? Nobody knows what will happen if we default. Just keep it going, sort of as is.
đ€ Todayâs Question: Should the Columbia grad student Mahmoud Khalil be deported? If you need context, watch the Maxes break it down â playing join devilâs advocates â right here.
POPCORN
Some Quick Stories for Happy Hour
đ Heart to (Robo)Heart: An Australian man became the world's first person to survive 100 days with a totally artificial heart
đą Traveling Turtle: A man was caught with a live turtle concealed in his pants while going through security at Newark International Airport
đ« Pink Pistol Penalty: A Swiss politician received a $7,000 fine for ordering pink water pistols online as gifts for his godchildren, violating the country's weapons law
đŠ Cold Case: A 4-year-old boy in Wisconsin called 911 to report his mother for "being bad" after she ate his ice cream, telling officers his mom "needed to go to jail for it"
đ„€ Cup-Gate Scandal: Organizers of a half-marathon in Brighton, England apologized after volunteers at the water station rinsed and reused cups when supplies ran out
ROCA WRAP
Voting Under Pressure

Greenland
Greenland
A party favoring gradual independence from Denmark has won a surprise election victory in this territory.
Greenland is an autonomous territory within the Kingdom of Denmark, which colonized it 300 years ago and still exercises control over its foreign and defense policy. Home to just 56,000 people, most from indigenous Inuit backgrounds, the Arctic islandâs politics have shifted toward favoring independence since at least 2009.
Lately, though, theyâve been complicated by President Trumpâs stated desire to take over Greenland, which has large reserves of valuable resources and sits along strategic air and sea routes.
In parliamentary elections on Tuesday, the center-right Demokraatit Party won nearly 30% of the vote, a dramatic increase from just 9% in the election four years ago. Naleraq, the most aggressively pro-independence party, came in second with almost 25% of the vote, up from nearly 12% in 2021. The result marked a significant upset over parties that have governed the territory for years, including Prime Minister Mute Bourup Egede's Inuit Ataqatigiit party, which fell from 36% to 21%.
The election took place in the shadow of Trump, who told Congress last week that he thought the US was going to control the island "one way or the other."
Demokraatit leader Jens-Friederik Nielsen, 33, told Sky News the result should send a clear message to Trump: "We don't want to be Americans. No, we don't want to be Danes. We want to be Greenlanders. And we want our own independence in the future."
Danish Defense Minister Troels Lund Poulsen congratulated Demokraatit and said the future Greenlandic government would likely have to "deal with massive pressure from US President Donald Trump."
He emphasized that "it's not the case that you can just take part of the Danish Realm â the future of Greenland is based on what the Greenlandic people and government want."
ROCA VIDEO
Inside New Mexico's 60-Year Land War
We met ranchers in Northern New Mexico whose roots trace back to Spanish Conquistadors of the late 1500s. Once stewards of hundreds of thousands of acres, they now control less than 1% of that land after a 60-year battle with the U.S. government, which they accuse of mismanaging the land it took. Yet, their determination to uphold their traditions and way of life burns as fiercely as ever.
EDITORâS NOTE
Final Thoughts
Repeating yesterdayâs plug: RocaNews is hiring! We are looking to hire a full-time videographer/editor to help us grow our YouTube network. If you or someone you know might be interested, fill out this form. The writer job got hundreds of applications in the first few days, so do so quickly!
âMax and Max