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🌊 FBI, I Just Saw a Man Key a Tesla

Plus: Norway's cheating scandal, astronauts return home, & Wisco boy calls cops on mom for eating his ice cream

As you continue to send your Daylight Saving responses


We can’t help but feel old for a second and think about how weird it is that the generation behind Gen Z (Gen Microplastics, maybe?) will never have to manually reset clocks for Daylight Savings. They will never have to suffer the blood, sweat, and tears that go into finding the "Date/Time" option in the system settings of a 2004 Honda Accord with “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter playing in the background.

If you are from an older generation, we can hear you rolling your eyes from here.

đŸ‡ș🇾 Trump, Tesla, & Terrorism

đŸ‘©â€đŸš€ Astronauts return home

🍩 Wisconsin boy calls cops on mom for eating his ice cream

–Max and Max

KEY STORY

Trump, Tesla, and Terrorism

President Trump warned he would designate vandalism and violent demonstrations at Tesla facilities as “domestic terrorism”

  • Since Elon Musk launched DOGE, protesters have destroyed and vandalized Tesla vehicles, charging stations, and showrooms

  • After saying on Monday that he would "buy a brand new Tesla” to show support for Musk, Trump hosted a Tesla event at the White House

  • When asked whether he would label the anti-Tesla acts “domestic terrorism,” Trump said, “I will do that, I’ll do it. I’m going to stop them,” adding that he would do so for any “great American company”

Dig Deeper 

  • Trump said, “Let me tell you, you do it to Tesla, and you do it to any company, we’re going to catch you and you’re going to go through hell”

  • On Wednesday, House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) said he would instruct Congress to investigate “domestic terrorism” attacks against Tesla vehicles and storefronts

  • On X, Johnson added, “Congress will investigate the sources of these attacks and help the DOJ & FBI ensure those responsible are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law”

KEY STORY

Norway’s Cheating Scandal

Norway’s ski team is facing cheating allegations ahead of the World Ski Championships

  • The Nordic World Ski Championships, the world’s premier nordic skiing competition, is held every two years. Norway historically dominates the competition

  • On Tuesday, skiing’s international governing body accused Norway’s ski jumping team of altering the pre-approved and microchipped suits to improve aerodynamics

  • In response, three Norwegian team officials and two athletes were suspended for “illegal equipment manipulation,” including two Olympic gold medalists

Dig Deeper

  • The cheating scandal has tarnished Norway’s stance on honesty in sports, angering the Nordic country’s population, which prides itself on dominance in winter sports

  • An FIS official stated, “Norway is a country that we all know as a leader in human rights, in equality, integration. I cannot believe that there is a (cheating) system”

QUOTE OF THE DAY

I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid

Captain Jack Sparrow

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KEY STORY

Astronauts Coming Home

The rescue mission intended to fetch the two astronauts stranded at the International Space Station (ISS) was delayed

  • American astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams have been stranded on the ISS since June 5, 2024. Their original mission was set to last only eight to ten days, but their stay was unexpectedly prolonged after thruster issues in Boeing’s Starliner capsule caused NASA to deem their return unsafe. The Starliner capsule returned uncrewed in September

  • A SpaceX rescue mission was scheduled to take off for the ISS on Wednesday night, arrive there on Thursday morning, and return with the stranded astronauts on March 16

  • Instead, a mechanical issue delayed the launch. It will now take place Friday night at the earliest

Dig Deeper

  • While this is a small hiccup for SpaceX, the entire situation signifies a major loss for the United Launch Alliance (ULA), a joint venture between Lockheed Martin and Boeing intended to compete with SpaceX, the leader

  • Instead of competing with SpaceX, Boeing failed to return the astronaut, forcing SpaceX to do so

  • An Air Force report determined that the ULA had “performed unsatisfactorily”

KEY STORY

Department of Education Over?

The Trump Administration announced it would cut the Department of Education (ED) workforce in half

  • The ED is the smallest and third-youngest federal department, having been created under President Carter in 1980. It administer rules that govern federal education funding. Many conservatives have long sought to abolish it

  • On Wednesday, Trump took a step toward doing so by pushing out ~2,000 workers. While Trump can’t just eliminate the department – that would require an act of Congress – he can gut it by firing staff, cutting funding, and giving its responsibilities to other departments

Dig Deeper

  • Supporters say the ED is necessary to maintain academic standards, channel funding, and implement anti-discrimination and other legislation. Critics say the ED is federal overreach that costs money and harms education outcomes

  • This week's cuts come days after a memo leaked that showed Trump is planning to dismantle the department

RUNDOWN
Some Quick Stories for the Office

📊 Inflation slowed to 2.8% in February, below the 2.9% rate most economists predicted

💰 The House of Representatives passed a bill on Tuesday to fund federal agencies through September. It’s path in the Senate is uncertain

đŸ‡ș🇾 After President Trump’s 25% tariffs on steel and aluminum imports took effect on Wednesday, the EU and Canada retaliated with $28B and $20B in tariffs on US goods, respectively

📱 The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) announced it would cut 1,029 jobs, roughly 10% of its workforce

đŸ’Č Federal spending hit a record $603B in February, driven by rising healthcare and social security costs

What does Roca Nation think?

🧐 Yesterday’s Question: The US is $36T in debt (annual deficit is $840B!). Should reducing the debt be a bigger priority than it is? The number one priority?

Being fiscally responsible is neither easy or popular. Advocating for it doesn’t get you votes. The reality is that at some point the economy and the country will collapse if there isn’t someone who is willing to stand up and convince us to swallow the bitter pill of a balanced budget. Just think of all the programs that could be funded with the money that is being spent on the interest on the national dept. Oh wherefore art thou Ross Perot?

Tim from Wisconsin

Yes it should be a prioritized more than it is now. However, blindly cutting jobs and funding like the current administration is trying to, is not the way to go about it. This needs to be a slower, more in depth process.

Aidan, student at Pitt

Oh, so the U.S. can rack up debt like a shopaholic with a black AmEx, never worry about paying it off, and just keep swiping? Cool, cool. Guess that means citizens can do the same, right? Insert world-record eyeroll here.

I do think cutting the national debt should be a priority, but politicians seem to have a talent for trimming everything except what they should. Maybe—just maybe—they could start with their own salaries, benefits, and those magical "expense accounts" before slashing things people actually need.

Hey, DOGE, fetch some wasteful spending in Congress and the upper government ranks first! đŸ¶đŸ’ž

Becky from Kansas

Is anything going to actually happen? Everyone’s in debt — most major governments are in debt. We have so much leverage that our debt holders couldn’t destroy us, and we’re already over $35T, why stop now? Nobody knows what will happen if we default. Just keep it going, sort of as is.

Mike from Colorado

đŸ€” Today’s Question: Should the Columbia grad student Mahmoud Khalil be deported? If you need context, watch the Maxes break it down — playing join devil’s advocates — right here.

POPCORN
Some Quick Stories for Happy Hour

💓 Heart to (Robo)Heart: An Australian man became the world's first person to survive 100 days with a totally artificial heart

🐱 Traveling Turtle: A man was caught with a live turtle concealed in his pants while going through security at Newark International Airport

đŸ”« Pink Pistol Penalty: A Swiss politician received a $7,000 fine for ordering pink water pistols online as gifts for his godchildren, violating the country's weapons law

🍩 Cold Case: A 4-year-old boy in Wisconsin called 911 to report his mother for "being bad" after she ate his ice cream, telling officers his mom "needed to go to jail for it"

đŸ„€ Cup-Gate Scandal: Organizers of a half-marathon in Brighton, England apologized after volunteers at the water station rinsed and reused cups when supplies ran out

ROCA WRAP
Voting Under Pressure

Greenland

Greenland

A party favoring gradual independence from Denmark has won a surprise election victory in this territory.

Greenland is an autonomous territory within the Kingdom of Denmark, which colonized it 300 years ago and still exercises control over its foreign and defense policy. Home to just 56,000 people, most from indigenous Inuit backgrounds, the Arctic island’s politics have shifted toward favoring independence since at least 2009.

Lately, though, they’ve been complicated by President Trump’s stated desire to take over Greenland, which has large reserves of valuable resources and sits along strategic air and sea routes.

In parliamentary elections on Tuesday, the center-right Demokraatit Party won nearly 30% of the vote, a dramatic increase from just 9% in the election four years ago. Naleraq, the most aggressively pro-independence party, came in second with almost 25% of the vote, up from nearly 12% in 2021. The result marked a significant upset over parties that have governed the territory for years, including Prime Minister Mute Bourup Egede's Inuit Ataqatigiit party, which fell from 36% to 21%.

The election took place in the shadow of Trump, who told Congress last week that he thought the US was going to control the island "one way or the other."

Demokraatit leader Jens-Friederik Nielsen, 33, told Sky News the result should send a clear message to Trump: "We don't want to be Americans. No, we don't want to be Danes. We want to be Greenlanders. And we want our own independence in the future."

Danish Defense Minister Troels Lund Poulsen congratulated Demokraatit and said the future Greenlandic government would likely have to "deal with massive pressure from US President Donald Trump."

He emphasized that "it's not the case that you can just take part of the Danish Realm — the future of Greenland is based on what the Greenlandic people and government want."

ROCA VIDEO
Inside New Mexico's 60-Year Land War

We met ranchers in Northern New Mexico whose roots trace back to Spanish Conquistadors of the late 1500s. Once stewards of hundreds of thousands of acres, they now control less than 1% of that land after a 60-year battle with the U.S. government, which they accuse of mismanaging the land it took. Yet, their determination to uphold their traditions and way of life burns as fiercely as ever.

EDITOR’S NOTE
Final Thoughts

Repeating yesterday’s plug: RocaNews is hiring! We are looking to hire a full-time videographer/editor to help us grow our YouTube network. If you or someone you know might be interested, fill out this form. The writer job got hundreds of applications in the first few days, so do so quickly!

–Max and Max