🌊 California Turns on Nepo Babies

Can we chill with the deaths for a bit?

Yesterday afternoon, we were sad to learn that NBA legend Dikembe Mutombo — for non-basketball fans, this guy in GEICO commercials — died at 58. Then, just a short while later, it broke that all-time MLB hits leader Pete Rose died. This comes just days after Maggie Smith’s death, and within a month of James Earl Jones’. Dikembe, Charlie Hustle, Professor McGonagall, and Darth Vader in three weeks!

Developing: White House officials just announced that they believe Iran is preparing an imminent attack on Israel. We will monitor the situation and report on it tomorrow.

–Max, Max, and Owen

KEY STORY

PE Takes Over Satellite

Private Equity firm TPG agreed to buy DirecTV and merge the company with rival Dish

• TPG orchestrated the three-way deal, in which DirecTV will buy Dish, and TPG will purchase the combined entity

• Both providers have struggled as subscriber #’s have plummeted over the past decade. TPG says the combined company will have more power to negotiate with channel owners and thereby enable the company to remain competitive in the streaming era

• The deal will face scrutiny from regulators, who may allege the combined entity constitutes a monopoly

Dig Deeper

• DirecTV’s customer base has eroded from 20M subscribers in 2014 to 11M in 2023. Over that same period, Dish’s customer base has fallen from 14M to 9M subscribers

• DirecTV and Dish previously tried to merge in 2002, only to be blocked by a government antitrust suit

KEY STORY

California Bans Legacy Admissions

California will ban legacy admissions at all colleges starting next year, following a nationwide shift in admissions policies after last year’s Supreme Court ruling against race-based admissions

• Gov. Gavin Newsom signed the new law on Monday. Starting September 1, 2025, public and private universities in the state can no longer consider an applicant’s ties to alumni or donors. Colleges will need to report more detailed demographic data, including race, income, and athletic participation of incoming students

• Public universities already don’t consider legacy or donor ties in admissions

Dig Deeper

• In 2022, the University of Southern California (USC) admitted the highest percentage of legacy and donor-related students in California at 14.4%, followed by Stanford at 13.8% and Santa Clara at 13.1%. Although institutions like USC didn’t approve legacy-banning legislation, USC said it would comply

• “The California Dream shouldn’t be accessible to just a lucky few, which is why we’re opening the door to higher education wide enough for everyone, fairly,” Newsom said in a statement

KEY STORY

VP Debate Tuesday

Ohio Senator JD Vance and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz are set to face off in their only scheduled VP debate on Tuesday

• Polling suggests each candidate faces a different challenge in the debate. Vance scores lower on favorability than Walz, but Walz is lesser-known

• The 538 polling average shows Vance with a +11 disapproval rating and Walz with a +3.7 approval rating. Polls also show that roughly 3-in-10 voters don’t know enough about Walz to have an opinion

• The debate will likely draw major TV ratings. The 2020 Harris-Pence matchup drew 57.9M viewers

Dig Deeper

• The dynamic between the VP candidates has been highly combative on the campaign trail. Walz has repeatedly called Vance “weird” and condemned his “childless cat ladies” comment

• Meanwhile, Vance has accused Walz of stolen valor for leaving his unit before it deployed to Iraq and falsely confirming that he saw military action

KEY STORY

China’s Economy: Fixed?

Chinese stocks had their best day since 2008

• China’s growth has stalled in recent years, between a real estate crash, regulation, and policy changes that drove away foreigners. The resulting stagnation in China’s economy prompted investors to wonder when and how China’s government would enact a stimulus

• Last week, it announced that stimulus, including policies to boost spending; cut mortgage rates; support local governments; and help families

• The Central Bank’s chief then told his staff to “go all out” to implement the stimulus

Dig Deeper

• The news sparked a boom in Chinese stocks that accelerated on Monday, when they rose another 8.5%, marking their best day since the Great Recession

• China’s key stock index is now up 24% since last Tuesday, just before the stimulus was announced

RUNDOWN
Some Quick Stories for the Office

🕊️ MLB and NBA superstars Dikembe Mutombo and Pete Rose both passed away on Monday

💥 Israel announced that it had begun “limited” raids in southern Lebanon

🎯 Israel killed the top Hamas official in Lebanon. It was subsequently revealed that he worked for the UN

⚓ Port workers across the US East and Gulf Coasts are poised to begin striking on Tuesday

🌀 Hurricane Helene’s death toll exceeded 121, with 600+ people still missing as of Monday night

COMMUNITY

🧐 Yesterday’s question: Any message to our southeastern readers after seeing the damage from Helene?

🧠 Today’s question: Who is someone who seems eternal? My answer is William Shatner.

Reply to this email to let us know what you think!

POPCORN
Some Quick Stories for Happy Hour

🐐 Goat behavior: A goat named Joshua jumped into a Newfoundland half marathon on Sunday and ended up winning a medal, quickly becoming a local sensation

🏰 Dark ages return: The Ohio Renaissance Festival closed on Saturday due to ongoing power outages in the area. Wouldn’t this be on theme?

😢 Viva La Band-a! As they prepare to release their 10th album, “Moon Music,” Coldplay frontman Chris Martin confirmed the band will retire after their 12th album

🙀 Fall from grace: A 69-year-old British clergyman died after a night of sex and drugs with a 60-year-old Belgian priest. The priest has since been arrested on drug-related charges

🎸 Boulevard of broken airwaves: Green Day has been banned from two Las Vegas radio stations after frontman Billie Joe Armstrong criticized the city on stage last Friday, calling it the “worst sh*thole in America”

ROCA WRAP

Monday Morning Madness

While we normally run this set of quirky stories on Mondays, we had to delay yesterday’s because of the developments in Lebanon. So here is the Tuesday edition of Monday Morning Madness. 

Baby for Beer

An Arkansas couple, ages 20 and 21, faces charges for allegedly attempting to lease their two-month-old baby for a six-pack of beer and $1,000.

Authorities were alerted by a concerned individual who noticed the baby appeared in need of medical attention. An affidavit reveals the couple had handed the baby to a man who asked if he could “have the baby overnight in exchange for beer.”

The mother reportedly complained about managing three dogs and a baby and offered to give the baby up for $1,000. Authorities later found a signed letter from the parents stating they were surrendering their parental rights for $1,000. The couple was arrested with bail set at $50,000. An investigation is ongoing.

Jailhouse Rocked

A Detroit judge who was temporarily removed for ordering a teenager into jail clothes and handcuffs during a field trip has returned to the bench.

In August, the judge faced backlash for accusing a 15-year-old girl on a live-streamed field trip of having a bad attitude and falling asleep in his courtroom. He ordered her to wear jail attire and handcuffs and threatened her with juvenile detention. Following the incident, the judge was removed from key duties and sent to social-emotional training. He’s now handling speeding tickets and minor offenses.

The girl’s mother is suing for over $75,000, citing “fear and severe emotional distress.”

Feet First

Surveillance video captured a 28-year-old Arizona man crawling under women’s vehicles at a car wash, apparently for sexual gratification.

Police responded to three incidents where witnesses and cameras spotted him under the vehicles as women vacuumed. Authorities discovered he had prior arrests in Nebraska for similar offenses. Court documents reveal he admitted to being “sexually attracted to women’s feet” and “at times, can’t control his sexual desires.” He was arrested on Tuesday and charged with voyeurism and disorderly conduct.

Charity Chic?

Supermodel Naomi Campbell, 54, has been banned from serving as a charity trustee after a UK watchdog discovered charity funds were spent on luxury hotels and spa treatments.

An inquiry revealed that Fashion for Relief wasn’t passing on as much of the money raised as intended, with funds instead being used for cigarettes, security for Campbell, and unauthorized payments to one of her fellow trustees. The inquiry also found £290,000 ($388,000) in unauthorized payments for consultancy services made to another trustee, violating the charity’s constitution.

Campbell and two other trustees have been banned from charity involvement for five years.

“I’ve just found out today about the findings, and I am extremely concerned,” Campbell said. 

Spray Now, Drive Later

Three Waymo robotaxis were reportedly vandalized in separate tagging incidents in San Francisco.

One of the incidents was recorded by the gang of vandals and went viral after being posted on X. It shows a passenger in the front seat of a robotaxi, clutching a puppy and appearing unfazed as members of the crew tag the vehicle’s exterior.

Police are investigating the incidents. Waymo’s press team has yet to release any information about the tagging spree.

EDITOR’S NOTE
Final Thoughts

A few Tennessee and Virginia readers took issue with our omission of them from the list of states affected by Helene. We apologize for that.

On a more upbeat note, happy international coffee day to all who celebrate! Don’t let anyone shame you into thinking you drink too much coffee. In Finland, where coffee consumption is highest, it is normal to drink 8 cups a day. And that’s the happiest country, right?

–Max and Max