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đ New Inductee in the Yapping Hall of Fame
Plus: RealID chaos at DMVs, paralyzed woman speaks, & an OnlyFans lawsuit
What did King Julien do now?
Among the many tariffs Trump announced yesterday, we couldnât help but notice the 47% tariffs levied on⊠Madagascar. Now we get that Elon is mad-at-gas-cars insert laugh track but to take out this frustration on the country with dancing lemurs? All they want to do is move it, move it. We demand justice!
P.S. Check out our new NIL/March Madness investigation, featuring Dukeâs shady funding, some surprising data on NIL funding and tourney success, and how the sport has transformed in the last few years.
đŁ Cory Booker's record-breaking speech
đ§ Miraculous breakthrough in brain-to-speech
đȘŠ Hooters goes bust
âMax and Max
KEY STORY
Record-Breaking Speech

Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) delivered a record 25-hour speech in protest of President Trump and Elon Musk
Pledging to continue speaking as long as he was âphysically able,â he said, âThe threats to the American peopleâŠare grave and urgent, and we all must do more to stand against themâ
To pass time, Booker read letters from constituents, criticized DOGE, quoted a civil rights activist, and took questions from Democratic colleagues
The speech broke a record set in 1957 by Strom Thurmond (R-SC), whose 24-hour-long speech attempted to block passage of the Civil Rights Act
Dig Deeper
To prepare for the speech â and prevent bathroom breaks that would end it â Booker didnât eat for days before the stunt and didnât drink throughout it
Although his speech technically wasnât a filibuster â it didnât block or interrupt pending legislation or votes â it still broke the Senate speech record, ending after 25 hours and 5 minutes
The speech drew mixed reactions, with right-wing media portraying it as performative while many Democrats praised his resolve and dedication and claimed it set a new tone for the party
KEY STORY
REAL ID Chaos
The long-delayed May 7 deadline to get a REAL ID has caused chaos across the US as travelers rush to make DMV appointments, the WSJ reported
The REAL ID Act of 2005, passed in response to 9/11, required citizens to get upgraded driverâs licenses, passports, or IDs to board flights, but its enforcement has been delayed for years
However, the TSA stated, âThis is absolutely a firm deadline. We will begin enforcement at TSA checkpoints this coming Mayâ
The Department of Homeland Security estimates that just over half of all eligible citizens have REAL IDs, while the TSA says about one-fifth of US flyers donât have one
Dig Deeper
The looming deadline has caused chaos at DMV offices across the country, with residents reporting waiting in long lines for hours
Illinoisâ Secretary of State said, âRecently, we added more than 2,500 daily appointments at [DMV] facilities specifically for REAL IDsâ
As one New Jersey resident wrote on Facebook, âThe whole state is booked!â
Last month, Miami-Dade County officials uncovered a network of scalpers using bots and fake accounts to hoard free DMV appointments and resell them for up to $250
QUOTE OF THE DAY
AI will probably lead to the end of the world, but in the meantime there will be great companies created with serious machine learning
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KEY STORY
Brain-To-Speech Tech

Researchers announced the development of a brain-reading implant that allowed a paralyzed woman to speak
Brain-computer interfaces (BCIs) link the brainâs electrical signals to a computer, often to research, assist, or repair cognitive or motor disabilities
Researchers used AI algorithms to decode the sentences as a paralyzed woman thought of them and turned the decoded neural signals into a synthetic voice instantly
Using AI, the updated implant generated up to 90 words every minute, compared to 160 words per minute in natural conversations
Dig Deeper
While there is still a minor delay, the development is a major improvement from older BCI technology, as the prior BCI the woman used took over 20 seconds to process each sentence
Edward Chang, the studyâs co-author, said, âYou can imagine, with more sensors, with more precision and with enhanced signal processing, those things are only going to change and get betterâ
KEY STORY
Trump Sets Tariffs
President Trump announced a 10% tariff on all foreign trading partners and even higher ones on select âbad actorsâ
During a speech in the White House Rose Garden, he announced 10% tariffs on all foreign goods, which effectively covers all imports
He also announced additional "retaliatory tariffs.â Among those receiving retaliatory measures are China, at 34%; Japan, at 24%; India, at 26%; the EU, at 20%; and Taiwan, at 32%
Trump called the imposition of tariffs âour declaration of economic independence,â promising, âJobs and factories will come roaring backâ
Dig Deeper
The shares of many large companies â which rely on foreign trade and global supply chains â dipped sharply following the announcement
Some economists have predicted that tariffs could send the US economy into a recession; others have called those fears exaggerated
Trump and other MAGA leaders have claimed that tariff-related disruptions, even if they cause a recession, are necessary to transform Americaâs economy and reshore manufacturing
Several foreign countries have already vowed to impose new retaliatory tariffs on the US
RUNDOWN
Some Quick Stories for the Office
đ” Charlie Javice, the founder of financial aid start-up Frank, was convicted of fraud in federal court for faking her start-upâs customer list and defrauding JPMorgan of $175M
âïž A federal judge dismissed corruption charges against New York Mayor Eric Adams but rejected the Justice Departmentâs request to potentially reinstate them in the future
đŹ CERN, the worldâs largest particle physics laboratory, announced plans to build a particle accelerator three times larger than the current one
đ©ââïž Liberal judge Susan Crawford won a 10-year term and secured a 4-3 progressive majority on the Wisconsin Supreme Court over conservative Brad Schimel. The race drew a record $90M+ in spending and national attention, particularly driven by Elon Musk
đȘ Myanmarâs ruling military junta declared a temporary ceasefire in the countryâs civil war as the death toll from Fridayâs devastating 7.7-magnitude earthquake passed 3,000
đ° Amazon made a last-minute bid to buy TikTok before the April 5 sale deadline, per The New York Times
What does Roca Nation think?
đ§ Yesterdayâs Question: Why do you think older people are happier? (Virtually every happiness study/survey finds this to be true).
As someone who is well on his way (I'm 47) to getting older, I find myself happier than when I was younger. I believe this to be because I no longer worry about accumulating material things. I no longer worry about my outward appearances, I don't wonder "What will people think of me?". And I don't let "The state of the world" get me rattled anymore. I have narrowed my focus to the things in my life that truly matter; I engage in a hobby, I have a few close friends, and I am satisfied with what I have. Perhaps I am becoming more down to earth, as I get closer to becoming part of the earth.
Because...
- We're able to look back on work well done which fills us with tremendous satisfaction and gratitude.
- We've become more comfortable in our own skin, and accepting of others.
- We're more contemplative which deepens faith and trust in God, which bestows peace and replaces existential dread with hopeful expectation.
-We've figured out relationships better which makes them more mutually nurturing and fun.
-We've learned what brings joy (love) and what doesn't (pretty much everything else).
- We've completed the intense, non-stop grind of life and can and can spend more time "being".
-And if you're as blessed as I am, you get to spend these years with your beloved spouse beholding the magnificence and wonder of your children...and grandchildren!
I'm studying psychology in grad school, so I'm familiar with some of the studies about happiness increasing with old age, and I'll admit, it's made something once daunting to me (growing old) sound a lot more pleasant and exciting. The older we get, the better we are at emotional regulation, which means negative experiences don't quite have the same hold over us as they used to. That and a combination of increased wisdom through life experience makes acceptance of circumstance much easier. Brain changes at that age also mean that we tend to remember and focus on positive memories or the present moment more frequently, worrying less about the future or negative experiences, as younger people often do. Negative experiences are our greatest teachers, so it makes sense that we focus on them when we're young. But once we've learned a lifetime of lessons, those rose-colored glasses and the peace that comes with them are a well-earned reward.
The first and obvious answer to this question is that they grew up in a time where you could roll up into a town across the (Western) world, pick up some honest work and then buy a house, get married and have 2.5 kids if you wanted to. I'm 27 and my friends speak about this kind of time like a bygone golden era. There are countless reports of how we're the first generation to be poorer than our parents and housing crises galore etc etc.
Aside from that though, I think there's just more pressure you put on yourself when you're younger to seek meaning, find your path, and constantly question yourself along the way. "I don't know what I'm doing with my life" is a pretty common phrase among younger generations. Older people have done all this. They've been through the ringer, got out the other side and probably realise it's time to just enjoy the ride. Maybe we should all try that (while we wait until our 40s to get a mortgage).
đ§ Todayâs Question: Letâs talk tariffs. Thoughts?
POPCORN
Some Quick Stories for Happy Hour
đ¶ âEscape Artistâ Returns Home: Three years after it went missing, a North Carolina family was reunited with their dog after finding it on a nearby townâs âPetfinderâ website
âïž OnlyFans Ghostwriters: Two former OnlyFans subscribers launched a class-action lawsuit against the site, claiming they were defrauded when creators allegedly used third-party agencies to impersonate them in direct messages
đ Druglordâs New Career: A man once labeled one of the Philippinesâ biggest drug lords is now running for mayor of his city on an anti-drug platform, promising rehabilitation for users while jailing dealers
✠Messi Ending: Soccer legend Lionel Messi's bodyguard has been barred from the sidelines during Inter Miami matches despite his impressive record of preventing pitch invasions
đ€ Feds Only Wanna Do You Dirt: Singer Sean Kingston and his mother were found guilty of wire fraud in a Florida federal court after they were accused of defrauding businesses out of over $1M last year
ROCA WRAP
Nepo-Minister

Nepo-Minister
The leader of Chechnya, a semi-autonomous and majority Muslim republic in southwestern Russia, made his 17-year-old son interior minister.
After the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, Chechnya declared independence, leading to years of civil war against Russia before returning to Russian control in the early 2000s. Since 2007, it has been ruled by Ramzan Kadyrov, who has maintained close ties with Russian leadership in exchange for autonomy.
On Tuesday, Kadyrov appointed his son Adam, who turned 17 last November, to lead Chechnyaâs branch of Russiaâs Interior Ministry. Adam has served as his fatherâs main bodyguard since 2023, which earned him an entry into Russia's "Book of Records" â its version of the Guinness World Records â as the youngest head of a security detail.
The 17-year-old will now oversee the regionâs security forces and handle counterterrorism in a region that has long been a hotbed of violence and terrorism.
Many have speculated that the teenagerâs appointment to lead the regionâs security forces is meant to groom him to replace his father, who is rumored to be battling health issues. However, the appointment follows reports that his father Ramzanâs relationship with Vladimir Putin has deteriorated.
Ramzan Kadyrov has played a major role in Russiaâs war in Ukraine, sending battle-hardened Chechen militias to the front lines, particularly at the beginning of the invasion. Despite this, the Kremlin has reportedly become suspicious of Kadyrov after learning of secret meetings between him and Middle Eastern officials to discuss protecting his assets and family.
With Chechnyaâs history of violence against Russian impositions, the deterioration of the Kadyrovâs relationship with the Putin could threaten the turbulent regionâs tentative peace.
ROCA VIDEO
Why This March Madness Feels Weird
NIL has transformed college basketball and made this March Madness unrecognizable. Upon analyzing the data, however, the relationship with winning is much weaker than it in college football. Nevertheless, it's upended the sport, and we investigate the state of NIL in college basketball in this video. We also take a close look at Duke's NIL collective which is perhaps the shadiest collective in the country.
EDITORâS NOTE
Final Thoughts
As always, thank you for reading Roca. We have some good news: We will not be imposing tariffs anytime soon on our We The 66 non-subscribers. Granted, weâre not sure how we would tariff our non-subscribers but just know that itâs not on our radar⊠for now.
We are trying to mix it up with more non-political stories. Hope youâre enjoying those.
âMax and Max