Happy Friday, Roca Nation. If you saw “Cocaine cat” trending online, you can breathe a sigh of relief — it’s not a sequel to Cocaine Bear. Instead, a wild cat with cocaine in its system was captured and nursed back to health in Cincinnati. It is now safely in the Cincinnati Zoo, where no animal has ever or would ever be har(a)m(b)ed.
In today's edition:
Carlson v. Trump?
Top search term of 2022
🔑 Key Stories
JPMorgan Sues Epstein Banker
JPMorgan Chase sued a former top executive, Jes Staley, over his relationship to Jeffrey Epstein
Staley led JPMorgan’s investment banking business from 2009 to 2013. As part of that, he worked with the bank’s ultra-rich clients, including Epstein, with whom he developed a close relationship
2 lawsuits, one filed by the US Virgin Islands and another by an unnamed woman, accuse JPMorgan of knowing about Epstein’s sex abuse scandals through Staley but not doing enough to stop them
JPMorgan sued Staley on Wednesday, alleging he deceived the company and demanding $80M+ in repaid salary
JPMorgan claimed Staley “repeatedly provided misleading information” about Epstein. “He violated his duty by putting his own personal interests ahead of the company’s,” it said. In addition to $80M+ in salary, JPMorgan is demanding Staley pay for any future penalties that may arise from the 2 pending lawsuits
The Biden administration included a number of large tax increases in its initial budget proposal
The budget covers next fiscal year, which runs from October 1 to September 30. To form it, agencies send requests to the president, who issues a proposal to Congress. This budget won’t advance but starts negotiations
The proposal includes a range of notable tax hikes, such as: Implementing a 25% minimum tax on the .01% of wealthiest Americans; increasing the tax on profitable investments from 20% to 39% for people making $1M+; and increasing the corporate tax rate from 21% to 28%
The budget will jumpstart negotiations but likely won’t lead anywhere, because Republicans control the House. Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said the budget features “massive tax increases, more spending…[and] will not see the light of day”
Rogan Starts Comedy Club
Joe Rogan opened an “anti-cancel” comedy club – Comedy Mothership – in Austin, TX
Rogan has the world’s most listened-to podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience. He often criticizes “woke” politics and covers politically incorrect topics with guests
Rogan has now opened an alien-themed comedy club that he says will be a place where comedians can express humor without fear of being canceled. The lineup features “canceled” comedians David Lucas, Ron White, Tim Dillon, and Roseanne Barr
Tickets to its opening night sold out in minutes
Rogan told the audience that having the venue is a surreal experience for him. “I’m drunk and on mushrooms in my new club! This is as high as I’ve ever been on stage,” he said. “I need to connect with this moment." In a separate interview, he said he “never wanted to own a comedy club’ but “felt compelled” to do so
Tucker v. Trump?
As part of a lawsuit, texts sent by Tucker Carlson about Donald Trump were made public
Dominion, a company which creates voting machines, is suing Fox News for $1.6B for its coverage of the 2020 election; Tucker Carlson, whose Fox News show is one of the US’ most-watched, has supported Trump
Some of Carlson’s personal messages were released as part of the lawsuit. In them, Carlson called Trump the “undisputed world champion” of “destroying things,” “so destructive… it’s disgusting,” and said, “I hate him passionately”
Fox has said those quotes are “twisted” and wrong
Several documents related to Fox News’ billionaire owner, Rupert Murdoch, were also released. “Maybe Sean and Laura went too far,” Murdoch texted in reference to 2020 election coverage by Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham, 2 of Fox News’ top reporters. “All very well for Sean to tell you he was in despair about Trump, but what did he tell his viewers?”
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Do your own research, NYJ: The Jets and Packers are reportedly close to a deal that would send 4-time MVP Aaron Rodgers to New York
Closing soon, a theater near you: A new report found that the US lost 2,000+ movie theater screens during the pandemic. Covid decimated the theater industry
Nostalgia on the rocks: Sunny-D will soon be offering an alcoholic version of the popular kids' juice drink. The Sunny-D vodka seltzer will have an ABV of 4.5%
Das nudity: Berlin will allow women to go topless in public swimming pools after a woman thrown out of one for doing so took legal action
Ruff look: The City of Toronto put up a sign at a dog park telling owners "do not allow your dogs to bark." The city removed the sign after significant blowback
PR(abbit) mess: European grocery chain Aldi admitted it "can't even defend this one" after stocking a bag of marshmallow Easter bunnies that don't resemble bunnies
👇🏻 What do you think?
See yesterday's results below the Wrap!
🗣 20 Questions
Every Friday, we ask the Roca readers 20 questions, then feature our favorite answers the following week.
Picky eaters, it's your time to shine! We are absolutely fired up about today's edition of take it or leave it, which is....
We've got 20 edible prompts, you let us know if you're tasting or trashing these widely disputed foods!
Here's the link. Have an INCREDIBLE WEEKEND!
If you have thoughts, let us know at [email protected]!
🌊 Roca Clubhouse
Would you rather:
Put your toes in the snow for an hour: 48%
Sit in a sauna for the day: 52%
What’s your go-to sweet treat?
Kelly from Nevada: “Hands down, a single square of dark chocolate eaten simultaneously with a Cutie orange. It has a little bit of sweet and a little bit of bitter. One of the best combinations!”
Kathleen from Kentucky: “My go to sweet, which I have in bed every night around 10:00, is whatever gooey calorie filled treat I have baked and is ready to pull out of the freezer. I love to bake so I usually have cookies, a fruit pie and a couple of kinds of cake to choose from. Ice cream may occasionally top the pie or cake.”
MJ from Hawaii: “Mint chip ice cream barely beat out Real Key Lime pie.”
Last Week's 20 Qs Responses:
Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd: Take 83.1%, Leave 16.9%
I Love Rock N' Roll by Joan Jett: Take 75.4%, Leave 24.6%
99 Problems by Jay Z: Take 30.2%, Leave 69.8%
Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd: Take 64.8%, Leave 35.2%
Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars: Take 66.9%, Leave 33.1%
September by Earth, Wind, and Fire: Take 75.7%, Leave 24.3%
Fruit Salad by The Wiggles: Take 14.6%, Leave 85.4%
The House of the Rising Sun by The Animals: Take 72.1%, Leave 27.9%
Mr. Brightside by The Killers: Take 52.7%, Leave 47.3%
In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins: Take 73.2%, Leave 26.8%
Thriller by Michael Jackson: Take 74.2%, Leave 25.8%
Stayin’ Alive by The Bee Gees: Take 72.5%, Leave 27.5%
When Doves Cry by Prince: Take 58%, Leave 42%
Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine: Take 37.6%, Leave 62.4%
Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Spingsteen: Take 58.5%, Leave 41.5%
Valerie by Amy Winehouse: Take 40%, Leave 60%
Heart of Glass by Blondie: Take 52.6%, Leave 47.4%
Get Lucky by Daft Punk feat. Pharrell Williams: Take 41.5%, Leave 58.5%
My Way by Frank Sinatra: Take 68.7%, Leave 31.3%
Yeah! by Usher feat. Lil Jon: Take 43.2%, Leave 56.8%
🧠 Final Thoughts
Hope you all have wonderful weekends. If you couldn't have guessed, we'll be spending them sunbathing topless by a German swimming pool, alcoholic Sunny-D in hand.
—Max and Max