Not the story we need, but the story we deserve.
“No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch,” read a headline from the AP yesterday. For days now, a rumor that Trump’s VP nominee has a history of furniture-cation has trended online. It began with a joke on X that alleged Vance confessed to getting intimate with a sofa in Hillbilly Elegy. The internet ran with it, spawning memes and jokes like, “we cannot let JD Vance near the oval office.” The fake news got enough traction to prompt the AP to publish a fact-check article.
AP, by the way, has since removed the piece. Uhh… did they learn something new? Was there a curtain whistleblower?
🇺🇸 Stock trading bill advances
🔐 Ohio brothers trapped in Dubai
🥇 Paris brings in 100,000 security guards
–Max and Max
KEY STORY
Fortress Paris
Nearly 100,000 security personnel are being deployed in Paris to protect the Olympics
Officials have warned that Paris is at risk for jihadist, cyber, and Russian attacks during the Olympics, which run from Friday night until August 11
Despite the threat, though, the Games aren’t taking place in stadiums outside the city, which they normally do: They’re taking place at landmarks, rivers, streets, and throughout the city center
To address the threat, France is deploying nearly 100,000 security personnel, establishing a military camp, launching anti-drone squads, and more
Dig Deeper
It’s the largest security operation in Paris’ peace-time history, with up to 45,000 police, 10,000 soldiers, and 22,000 private security guards being positioned across the city
Analysts say the most difficult site to defend will be the opening ceremony, which takes place Friday night, is expected to draw 300,000 attendees, and will feature a 3.7-mile boat parade of athletes down the Seine River. The river’s banks have been sealed off since last weekend, and police will be stationed every six feet along the river
KEY STORY
Venezuela Votes
Venezuela is holding a landmark election
Hugo Chavez became Venezuela’s president in 1999. Under him and his successor, corruption, economic mismanagement, and sanctions have made the country one of the poorest. But the regime has kept power, in part through handouts and repression
The Biden Administration has relaxed sanctions on Venezuela in exchange for the government promising to hold competitive elections. Those are scheduled for this Sunday, and opinion polls suggest the opposition should win in a landslide, but it’s unclear how the election will actually play out
Dig Deeper
The Maduro government has jailed, exiled, and allegedly killed its opponents, in addition to disqualifying and threatening opposition politicians. It’s also cultivated a loyal political base, including many soldiers and people who are reliant on it for food and other handouts
Chavez died in 2013, and the situation worsened under his successor, Nicolas Maduro, as Venezuela’s economy fell into hyperinflation and what was then the world’s steepest economic decline. It became South America’s poorest country, prompting ~20% of its people to leave (an estimated 2,000 still do so every day)
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KEY STORY
Paris Sabotage Attack
A sabotage attack disrupted France’s train network on the morning of the Olympics opening ceremony
Around 4 AM on Friday, attackers burned and cut high-speed railway cables leading into Paris, forcing high-speed trains to run on regular-speed tracks
By Friday morning, stations were overrun. The gov’t said disruptions would last through the weekend, affecting 800,000 people and preventing many from reaching the opening ceremony in Paris
Authorities – who called the attack “coordinated” and “prepared” – didn’t name a culprit but had previously warned of Russian, Iranian, and jihadist threats
Dig Deeper
Officials have said that Friday night’s opening ceremony would be the highest-risk event of the Olympics. 100 world leaders will be in attendance, in addition to hundreds of thousands of spectators
“What we know is that this operation was prepared and coordinated. That nerve centers were targeted – something that shows a level of knowledge of the network to know how to strike,” France’s prime minister said
KEY STORY
Stock Trading Bill Advances
After a contentious debate, A bill to ban elected officials’ stock trading advanced in the Senate
Senate committees have to approve bills before the Senate can vote on them. On Wed., a bill that bans elected officials from trading stocks did that – the furthest any such bill has made it in the Senate
The bill passed 8-4. A bipartisan group supported it, and 4 Republicans opposed it. Fierce criticism came from Sen. Mitt Romney (R.-UT), who is retiring this year. He said, “These provisions are extraordinarily detrimental to being able to attract good people into public office,” and said they’d make it impossible for business owners to run for office
Dig Deeper
“Donald Trump, for instance, under this bill — he couldn’t become president. I mean, he’d have to sell all of his Truth Social stock. He’d have to sell all of his private investments. This basically would prevent Donald Trump from becoming president,” Romney added. He also claimed that the bill is unnecessary because the law already bans Congress members from trading on insider information
But the bill’s supporters said it’s necessary to curb corruption and restore faith in Congress
Sen. Josh Hawley (R.-MO) said, “Members of Congress are trading daily based on information that the public doesn’t have”
“I understand that insider trading is banned, but let’s be honest: Members of Congress get information that is technically not insider information as defined by the securities law that is nevertheless extremely beneficial to know…that’s why senators rushed to trade stock at the beginning of the pandemic”
RUNDOWN
Some Quick Stories for the Office
🏨 Pro-Palestine protesters released thousands of maggots and other larvae into Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s Washington, DC, hotel. It’s unclear how the protesters breached the hotel – The Watergate – which was under tight security, given the PM’s visit
💰 Boxer and influencer Jake Paul raised $11M for W (“Winning”), his personal care brand that seeks to compete with Axe and Old Spice. The investment values W at $150M and aims to expand W’s market presence beyond Walmart
✈️ Southwest Airlines will end its open boarding policy, moving to assigned and premium seating likely beginning next year. Southwest – historically the US’ most consistently profitable airline – has been struggling: Earlier this year, a hedge fund demanded that the company change its operations to become more profitable
🖥️ CrowdStrike is facing backlash after offering “teammates and partners” a $10 Uber Eats voucher to apologize for the global IT outage that affected 8.5M computers. Some recipients reported that the vouchers didn’t work, with CrowdStrike admitting, “Uber flagged it as fraud because of high usage rates”
🇺🇸 Donald Trump announced that he wouldn’t schedule a debate with Kamala Harris until the party formalizes her nomination. Trump had formerly agreed to debate Biden on September 10 on ABC. On Tuesday, Trump said he would “absolutely” debate Harris at least once before Election Day but didn’t “like the idea of ABC” as the host. On Thursday, Harris accused Trump of “backpedaling,” and later, Trump’s campaign issued a statement: “Given the continued political chaos surrounding Crooked Joe Biden and the Democrat Party, general election debate details cannot be finalized until Democrats formally decide on their nominee”
🤖 OpenAI will launch “SearchGPT,” challenging Google’s search engine. Initially available to a small user group, it will provide clickable links to external sources developed with major news companies
COMMUNITY
🧠Yesterday’s question: What’s your go-to movie / TV show when you’re sick?
Tangled or 2005's Pride and Prejudice.
For me, it's either Super Troopers or Tommy Boy. The nostalgia alone makes me feel better.
Harry Potter for literally everything. Stressed, sick, sad, happy, can’t sleep. HP is constantly on at my house.
Movie: Star Wars, the original Trilogy
TV show: Gilmore Girls or How I Met Your Mother
I’ve seen them all so many times it’s easy to sleep through and then wake up and know exactly what is going on.
ASK AND TELL
20 Questions
On our recent Pennsylvania roadtrip, one of our many debates was about the most iconic logo. Max F says NASA; Max T said Coca-Cola. Yep, we know, disgraceful that nobody said Dave & Buster’s.
So with logos on our mind, today we’re doing our first-ever "iconic logos" edition of 20 Questions. Coca-Cola or Apple? The Yankees or the Steelers? Ghostbusters or Batman? You tell us.
Last Week’s 20 Questions:
Average ratings for last week’s “This or That” edition of 20 Qs.
Mohawk - 49.1%
Mullet - 50.9%
Driving - 61.9%
Riding shotgun - 38.1%
Hotels - 62.9%
Airbnbs - 37.1%
Driving with a friend - 63.9%
Driving alone - 26.1%
Ribs - 36.9%
Tacos - 63.1%
Twizzlers - 22.7%
Peanut M&Ms - 77.3%
Small towns - 68.9%
Big cities - 31.1%
Showering in morning - 63%
Showering at night - 37%
Music on a roadtrip - 71.2%
Podcasts on a roadtrip - 28.3%
QR code menus - 5.5%
Physical menus - 94.5%
Sitting next to loud eater - 61.6%
Sitting next to chatterbox - 38.4%
Flossing daily - 72%
Never flossing - 28%
Panera Brea - 47.3%
Five Guys - 52.7%
Monopoly - 55.1%
Clue - 44.9%
Blue for math folder - 57.2%
Blue for history folder - 42.8%
Riding a roller coaster - 50.7%
Eating a funnel cake - 49.3%
Sandra Bullock - 69.7%
Rachel McAdams - 30.3%
Arcades - 65.2%
Casinos - 34.8%
Petting dog - 73.3%
Petting cat - 26.7%
POPCORN
Some Quick Stories for Happy Hour
🚑 Call a casket! But not for me: The Indian government issued a death certificate for a man who was still alive, leading him to commit crimes to prove his existence. He went to a school and stabbed two teachers so that the government might generate documents that show he’s alive
🐦 #FreeStevenSeagull: A UK convenience store banned a shoplifting bird, dubbed “Steven Seagull,” for stealing bags of chips. The store manager says he’s taken 30 bags of chips
Actual store footage of Steven Seagull.
⚾️ Cease and desist: San Diego Padres pitcher Dylan Cease threw a no-hitter against the Washington Nationals on Thursday. Two years ago, Cease lost his no-hit bid with one out left
🍗 Boneless wings (Ohio’s version): The Ohio Supreme Court ruled that a restaurant isn’t responsible for a bone in a boneless wing that injured a customer in 2016. The court argued that the man could have reasonably expected to find a bone in his meal
🛂 If at first you don’t succeed…: US customs officials seized illegal drugs from the same traveler twice in one week at the Seattle airport. He was first busted with over 12 pounds of Ketamine but posted bail
EDITOR’S NOTE
Final Thoughts
We enjoyed reading through your sick movie / TV show answers. It was a fascinating mix of The Notebook and Law & Order.
Hope you have a great weekend. Can we please try to limit the attempted assassinations and presidential resignations for this one?
–Max and Max
